None ever found a thing to praise

I came home to my empty, dark apartment emotionally drained and exhausted from rehearsal. I wish I could say I felt the fatigue from a satisfying emotional journey left on the stage; instead, my weariness came from behind the scenes drama and self-doubt. I felt myself beginning to wreck. Even though it was well past midnight, and I longed for the five hours of sleep I could clock before my 5:45 AM wakeup call, I turned to my dearest friends: my books. I ran my index finger across their spines, and although I expected to pull Shakespeare off the shelf, my finger stopped on Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. I pulled out Bayard Taylor’s translation of Faust, collapsed in my leather armchair and flipped open the tattered cover to a random page, which read:

In young, wild years it suits your ways,
This round and round the world in freedom sweeping;
But then come on the evil days,
And so, as bachelor, into his grave a-creeping,
None ever found a thing to praise.

How appropriate! - I concluded. On any other day, I would comment on Martha’s ironic flirtation with Mephistopheles, as the foil to Faust’s advances on Margaret. Yet, last night, this passage spoke to me on another plain. In the context of my mood, I wondered how I had let myself get into this slump. Have I been wandering too far away from auditioning for quality theatre? Have I lost my ability to adore my work? Or perhaps the stress of dealing with Faustian actors, in all their arrogant and ambitious glory, is taking its toll on my sensibilities as an artist. I have said it before, and I will probably have to say it again: there is nothing more ruinous than a selfish actor. I need to ward off this destructive energy and focus on the positive as I move through the chaos of today’s activities - After all, a bad dress rehearsal means a great opening night!

Farewell Ashland

Class today was bitter-sweet. I am ready to continue to home, but I also wish I could see more plays. Everyone seemed to find something about Doctor Faustus to dislike. Dr. Black says that it is not the company’s fault, but the fault of Marlowe’s writing. Whatever the reason, I was glad I am not the only one who found it lacking.

I leave Ashland today with new knowledge, new friends, 6 wonderful plays and one not so wonderful. I think I made out well. I look forward to laying my head down in my own bed and the comfort of my family.

"So sweetly she bade me adieu,
I thought that she bade me return."
~William Shenstone

"He does it with a better grace, but I do it more natural."

I had a wonderful day today. I am so glad that I got to see Belle’s Stratagem. It is very witty and humorous. I found all of the costumes wonderful. The masque in Act Two combined imagination with historical costumes of the time.

Nicole and I finally made it for a walk in the park after the show. It was still too hot to walk a great distance, but we stopped for a subway sandwich and ate our lunch by one of the pounds. There we met two very friendly ducks. I named them Berowne and Dumaine. Nicole and I started feeding them, which was probably the wrong thing to do because then they wouldn’t leave us alone.

Speaking of Dumaine! Christopher DuVal came to class this morning. He plays Dumaine in OSF’s Love’s Labour’s Lost as well as Leo David in Room Service and Sir Andrew Aguecheek in Twelfth Night. Nicole and I were just discussing him last night and concluded that he was our favorite actor of the week. It was a pleasure to have him in class. I am very fond of him and glad to have personally met him – which seemed to only add to my enthusiasm for him.

In the evening we saw The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus by Christopher Marlowe. Based on the Faust legend, a man seels his soul to the devil in exchange for power and knowledge. The script focuses on the decay of spiritual beliefs over material gain, and the concept of Fate. Two versions of the play are known to exist. One written in 1604, is possibly an abbreviated version performed during Marlowe's lifetime. The second appeared in 1616 and is one third longer. It is speculated to be either an adaptation, or the full length origional.

I have to say it disappointed me, as well as Nicole. While there were certain moments that captured my imagination - "Why this is hell, nor am I out of it," Mephistophilis says of Earth. - I found the characters poorly written. The production value of the production is exceptional, but there was still something missing. I did not connect to the characters the way I felt I should have. It was all about spectacle, rather than humanity and religion. Perhaps in class tomorrow, others will explain its “greatness” to me.