The Rain Cloud of 2010

As I look back on 2010, I am reminded of the many challenges, heartbreak, and loss that has followed me through the year. I hope to leave behind the pain and disappointment of 2010 in order to better myself in the coming New Year.

I suppose 2010 began as an ordinary year for me, working at an ordinary day job, living in an ordinary apartment with an ordinary roommate in an ordinary town. I thought 2010 would be a year of change for me – A year to develop into something greater then my former self – A year to validate my life choices.

2010 began with the building blocks of success. I booked a magical play in early months of 2010. The play, though simple and light-hearted in nature, taught me a lot about myself. During the rehearsal process I took a trip to Detroit, Michigan, to make my first attempt at booking the graduate school of my choice. Perhaps this was the beginning of the end of 2010 – A graduate school rejection that cost me my confidence as an actor.

In 2010 I lost myself. I lost my ability to believe in my craft. Failed audition after failed audition made be question the validity of my talent. A family health scare jolted me awake to the mortality of those closest to me. I lost my best friend and though we are beginning to reconcile it will never be the same. I lost my apartment, which it turns out wasn’t as ordinary as I thought, but seems quite beautiful to me now that it is gone. I lost my cousin to a sudden heart attack. I lost 2 fellow actors to sudden illness. A long-time friend of mine went off his rocker and committed a heinous crime (which is like death since he is no longer the person I had grown to “know”). I lost the prospect of graduate school last summer. I lost my general sense of happiness.

But I also look back on 2010 and see all my blessings. I was blessed to work on Almost, Maine at the WTC. I was blessed to work on Edward II at Theatre Out, a show on which I made several strong friendships. I was blessed to direct “A Bridge to Something” as part of BRIEFS: A Festival of Short Plays at Theatre Out. I was blessed to find a new apartment that I could afford on my own. I am blessed to have a stable career to support my theatre antics. I am blessed to have my mother and my father in my life to love and support me. Yes, as it turns out, I am blessed in so many ways.

As I stand on the threshold of 2011, I commit myself to seeing the potential in everything I do. I commit myself to keeping the faith. I hope to make 2011 a year of positive change. I look forward to opening myself to new possibilities, to breaking away from routine, to obtaining a great wealth of knowledge. I pray that the universe will allow me to reach my full potential. 2011 will be my year of empowerment!